Wednesday, March 12, 2008

How To Be A Pop Kid

K emailed this link from WikiHow, which I thought was something worth annotating.


How To Be A Pop Kid

Pop is a genre that has been around for a very, very long time. Everyone reasonable knows that pop is the best music genre. WHAT? There are other music genres?!

Steps

  1. Start listening to lots of music. Music is the most important part of being a pop kid. You should explore twee, c86, shoegaze, fey pop, anorak, and noise pop. Eh, of course. Fuck me I'm twee
  2. Dress however you want, it's not that important. However, dressing in cardigans, corduroys, anoraks, and band shirts will help other pop kids identify you. I love corduroys.
  3. Wearing badges (also called pins) is also helpful. Pastels badges can be especially useful. A Pastels badge started Talulah Gosh, so who knows what could happen! Hmm, that's an idea, but I'm not doing that yet.
  4. Start a band. What, I can't go solo?
  5. Write a fanzine.
  6. Maintain a LiveJournal way past its expiration date. Multiply in lieu of LJ.
  7. When you enter your thirties be sure to only listen to records that came out in your twenties. (ex: if you are 35 now only listen to stuff from Kindercore, Sarah, etc.).
  8. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend who looks just like you. Not the way you dress (which will certainly be identical) but actually looks like you (i.e. nose, body shape, etc.)
  9. Familiarize yourself with commonly referenced songs. (such as "Throw Aggi Off The Bridge" by Black Tambourine, "Anorak City" by Another Sunny Day, "Pop Songs Your New Boyfriend Is Too Stupid To Know About" by Tullycraft, etc) Listen to the rest of the songs by these bands, too, of course. Tullycraft is yay and other basic Pop 101 bands like Heavenly, Beat Happening and Tiger Trap. My reference is "I Have The Password For Your Shell Account" by Barcelona.
  10. Become hopelessly in love with a particular record label and talk about them dreamily to people who probably do not care or know what your talking about. (a pop kid favorite is Sarah Records). No more Sarah and K Records, B&S have left Jeepster, right now I'm mental about Saddle Creek.
  11. Join the indiepop list and make friends. Facebook gots lots.
  12. Try to persuade countless friends to listen to pop with mixtapes. (or CDs if you're digitally inclined) Be crushed when they don't listen to them. CDs. 150 pop songs all at once. And I do actually get crushed when I ask them about it and I get the "haven't listened to 'em yet" answer.
  13. Remember that stripes never go out of pop style! Yay. Got lotsa stripes. Even horizontal ones. *shiver*
  14. Wear 1 billion buttons on whatever bag you're carrying. When you change bags take your buttons off and apply them to the new one. Repeat.
  15. Make really, really little stickers to advertise whatever it is you are involved with (zine, label, mini-comic)
  16. Have a crush on a boy/girl who doesn't know you exist. Write songs about it.

Tips

  • Being a fan of public transportation is important, trains in particular. LRT line 2
  • Have vague ambitions of moving to Glasgow. (note: if you live in Glasgow, have vague ambitions of moving Somewhere Else... Bristol or Sheffield, maybe?). 1. Glasgow; 2. Gothenburg; 3. Vancouver; 4. Patagonia; 5. Cork
  • Always remember that wherever you are is never as great as where you talk about wanting to be (EX: if you live in the US, Canada is always better; If you live on the East Coast, the West Coast is always better. Good pop cities are Athens and Olympia). Same as above
  • If anyone ever compliments something you're wearing never, ever admit to buying it. Always tell them, "I made it."
  • A lot of your indiepop days might be kind of lonely, so fill them with other hobbies besides zinemaking and band-doing! Examples include trainspotting, shoegazing, knitting, looking at bridges, trying to draw the Sarah Records or K Records logo JUST RIGHT, daydreaming, mixtaping, taking long walks while listening to the Field Mice, and arts and crafts.
  • Buy a duffle coat. Now.

Warnings

  • You might get beat up by skinheads or punks...actually, you might get beat up by EVERYONE. Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
  • Matt Haynes might break your chin
  • It might be near impossible to find popkid friends that aren't Internet Friends From Faraway Places. Not entirely (hello K), but most of them are, and the correspondence is fun.
  • You will probably get made fun of, especially if you are in Britland
  • If you are in Britland, avoid the term "twee", as some people find it offensive
  • Popkids are either completely sexless or complete sex fiends. There is no middle ground. Sexless

Things You'll Need

  • Lots of money to buy records. Or an internet connection, unless records as in vinyl
  • Determination
  • A broken heart and a nice haircut Broken heart, no; nice haircut, maybe.
  • Saropoly

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